suan le.

OMG! i feel damn bad ):

i hate my memory! and most of all, i hate my temper.

i scolded X for nothing. sheesh. just because i forgot. and im so angry i deleted her + blocked. oh dear.

anw, i feel like shit. i duno why you're treating me like this. revenge huh? i never thought this day would come. im guessing you feel the same way too.

but still, it started with me. so i shouldnt blame anyone.

to another you. i thought for damn long, and i still think it is YOUR fault that everything turned out this way. i wished you could take up responsibility for everything but, its all too late. so what if you did, nothing can be changed alr.

okay fine, it takes 2 hands to clap so i should be partly responsible too.

i really feel like crying. tuition just now was.. better but, i really duno what the hell im doing. so what if i know how to do? i dont understand a single shit! how to teach like this?

whatever happened to that fighting spirit? and all that goals.

i miss sa again ):

i saw * with a girl today! cries, he's attached!

nvm, 1 eyecandy down, many more to go ((:

and im starting to miss sa again. after looking at all the pictures and reading everything about the past.

but deep down i know that i'll always be - Once a Saint, Always a Saint.

seniors! please dont go!!

i dowan next ay to come ):

meaning the yr3s are gonna graduate alr ):

meaning no fun at sisters island. nobody to help pitch tent and field cook for us. no more nice jarrel to help us with flying fox. no more sarcastic keith to laugh at me. no more medic ivan to bandage my leg. no more funny paul to share stories with us. no more vina to accompany me. no more big nose joe to eat ice cream with. no more yu an to win joe's big nose.

CRIES. elf aint gonna be fun anymore.

and that means no more 5 years lex to disturb! and.. you're gonna leave alr ): sobs.

i dowan i dowan i dowan ):

and next ay means that sa's gonna start chionging As and that stupid des and maurice all the more wont come out and play ): sighs i miss them all. esp mugger sam. he's soooo gonna stay at home.

and i'll be a junior! i dowan! i wanna be freshie forever (: freshie oie!

and that means im gonna die cos i'll be taking all those sure-fail subjects. biochem, human anatomy and physiology, human physiology and immunology sth like that whatever shit that is. AND PATHOLOGY! omg those dead stuff. and its pbl my god!

speaking of which, i went to ite college east the other day for the national education symposium or whatever, and they wanted to change the ss syllabus to sth like pbl. shit them la. sec sch is all about mugging please. and the rj ppl had the face to claim that they had lotsa projects to do in sec sch. i bet the whole room wanted to beat them up.

seriously, rj-ians are nerds. so are hc-ians. okay maybe not all. but still, majority! (:

lets talk about iguides.

promo day! got to know lifang. ahhaha she's so funny! and she like to pinch my neh neh pok! ahha opps inside joke.

and mel (: i love dinner-ing with her and lifang!

speaking of which, long time nv eat tgt alr!

cny tmr! which means exams are coming too ):

alrights im supposed to mug. byebye

just my luck

to you.

i know you're concerned about me this few days, but just to let you know that, i realised that im only like this when im with iguides. okay maybe in otc too, but iguides have more interactions nowasdays. so the problem lies with ig.

not entirely. but what i mean is, i only feel this way in ig. but i cnt blame anyone, only myself. its my fault that i have this feeling because i dont have your luck to have such a nice group. in fact, my group dont even accept des and i as part of them la. just because we have to keep running ard for ppr, they feel that we're not part of the team?

and then, i joined ig because of you and now you just leave me there to die. i cnt blame you because you have better friends there. yea you might say i have des and jialing, but to tell you the truth, im sick of seeeing des' face now that i feel abit.. as for jialing, true i can stick with her as long as tim is not around. same goes for karen iris and lifang. when they're alone, they can be very close with me. but once they are reunited with their friends, im all alone again.

like the bridge. you were there highing with vivian and did you realise i was there? and i know you did invite me to dinner and all, but i dint want to cos i know your group will still eventually stick among themselves, or rather treat me like invisible again. so what if i go? they'll talk to you and you'll be talking back with them.

but the worst of all is that day after meeting. you said that we were going to eat so i waited with you. and in the end you had to ask me who im waiting for. meaning you had no intention to eat with me? what you meant was you were going with your group, and i stupidly interpreted as WE are going together.

dont get me wrong, like i told you, im not angry with you. im just pitying myself for having such lousy luck. lousy group with only 6 iguides with no enthusiasm and no acceptance. and a bimbotic one for otc.

yea, i was abit unhappy with you at first. but come to think of it, if i were you, i'd do the same too. its not your fault at all for having such wonderful group.

its just my luck.

i thought you were different from the rest.

ARGH SISTERS ISLAND IS POSTPONED TO NEXT AY!

sheesh all the rushing and failing of school work for nothing. and not to mention skipping of work and earning less money. irritating *** and that director.

open house tmr ):

i wanna watch sa vball match ((:

tian mu xia de lian ren (:

guess you're all the same after all.

cya and snails. I WANT LUCK (:

back from cya! very late today cos.. serena and i went shopping after work! hahah in the airport! ((: i like i like!

walking home at night is horrible. there's a snail party downstairs. yea, i saw 5 snails gathered together and 3 other snails being squashed. EWWWWWWWWW. like those soft-shelled ones. gross. dont ppl ever look at the floor when they walk?!?! those poor yucky snails. i think its cos of the rain la.

as much as i love the rain, i hope it'll stop. for the sake of the snails. not that i pity them, its just i dont want them in my path. gross.

my luck's really gone. today was super suay. first, i stupidly took a bus to school instead of going to the airport! and my ice cream was soaked ): cos i ran after the bus. then when i realised im on the wrong bus, i quickly alighted at school. i was going to be late and my leg was hurting like fuck so i decided to cab down. but i couldnt get a frigging cab! argh. then after 10 mins i went opposite instead. the most heart atack causing thing is, A CAB JUST ZOOMED PAST RIGHT WHEN I WAS ON THE BRIDGE! arghhhh i was gonna die of high blood pressure. so i waited and waited and ended up late anyway.

i want luck! i should go to a gypsy fortune teller. yea, i'll just do that. or any chinese one will do.

luck.

and i thought this whole week was my lucky week. the bad luck had to come slapping right on the last day ):

well, maybe there's no such thing as lucky charm after all. im just the bad luck magnet forever.

kan zhe ni yao zuo
hai zhuang zhe xiao rong
yan shi de cui ruo yao cheng duo jiu
ru guo xian zai kai kou
ru he wan liugan qing zhe tiao xian
zhu ding zhi neng zhe me yuan

and forever transparent.