bloody thermodynamics.

oh boyfriend. why do you have to treat me like that? i spent every single waking moment with you for the past 2 weeks (okay maybe except when im youtubing/blogging/facebooking/eating/showering/shitting.. you geddit, personal time). even more than i did for the entire 5 months i've been with you.

ive been so faithful to you, neglecting my other boyfriend and only loving (trying to) you. but why did you have to ditch me at the point when i needed you the most? damn you.

you 'd disappointed me so much. you gave me hopes so high and then WHAM! BAM! you're down and out. for the whole 3 hours, i dint know what to do at all. i was like crap, should i just walk out or sit here and try to work things out and salvage our relationship.

okay fine i admit i hadnt been a very great girlfriend and cheated on you most of the time. but shit you. you had to break up with me at the critical moment.



im sorry i failed you mr pec201 ): please give me a D, pretty please? well im actually just fine with a credit :X

jinxed.

anw i realised what a jinxed life i have.

everytime i reject/dump a guy, they find someone better X10000

fuck, its like that movie good luck chuck, where the guy is jinxed, and every woman who had sex with him will find true love. forgot the movie title anw.

hahah yea that im just like that guy. minus the sex part. J, T, J, F and Y. statistically proven. fml.


and i'll never look at yoga lin the same way ever again ):

wake up

su is damn funny. she drinks 3 tablets of redoxon per day. ahaha overdose to the max.


anw thank god for her. i kinda spent the night at her place cos i really couldnt stand being alone in my empty room. i just couldnt calm down and stop being mad. my chemical romance was on replay the whole time ): bloody waste of my time when i could have studied for thermo ): angry for nothing, sighs.

its quite a blessing that i found someone whom i can talk to alot in perth. other than carmen. hah. its actually quite weird la.


and i guess, they will be the last people that i will really confide in. i'll take gwen's advice and not put my heart in a friendship so soon anymore. call it a protective wall maybe, but i dont want the same thing to happen again. i will not trust anymore.

'cept for favourite people (: you know who you are hahaha! i tagged yall in my write love on her arms day profile pic. charles, you're included too, but you dont have fb :P


btw write love on her arms day is like an international fight depression and suicide day. you write love on your arm so that you dont slice your wrist, sth like that? hahah.


yay study time. 1 more day till thermo, aka first F in my uni life day T.T pray for me please ):

d100

ahem. christmas coming, and this is nice and cheap heh (: *HINT HINT*

leonid meteor shower 2009

OMFG

it was awesome!! okay not that awesome. partially because im sua ku, never see meteor shower before. but it was magnificent that clusters of stars just move in front of your eyes. i say move cos they dont go shooosh like you'd expect them to. hahaha this are probably slow moving meteors. but it was cool and soothing... watching them drift across the (very cloudy) sky.

haha yea the only regret is that it's too cloudy, and too short. sigh.


if only my favourite people were there to watch it with me :D

this is damn funny

carmen cynthia ashlee julie alex mia&bf michelle and i were supposed to go to campus to watch the meteor shower tonight (er morning) so we arranged to meet at the admin building at 1.15.

when we reached there, we noticed that it was super cloudy. so we were wondering should we go ahead with our plan cos if its cloudy, we wont be able to see anything. but bloody hell, its once every 33 yrs.

so as we were discussing, mia's bf said to us take shelter, its drizzling. then we were like shit, but still skeptical :X so we stood outside, wanting to feel the drizzle ourselves. then alex decided that we should go back, but julie carmen and i were still stubborn.

alex: go back! its raining!
julie carmen and i: *rooted to the ground*
-starts to pour-
julie carmen and i: arghhhhhh
-everyone runs in different directions-


colin: thats why they call it the meteor SHOWER lol

-.-


pray hard for the clouds to clear!

thank god for you (:

because you give your heart and trust to people too fast. so you hurt more. but i tell you. there's a lesson to learn.

firstly you give your heart away too fast but you're too trusting, holding everything so close to your heart so quickly. must learn how to protect yourself. secondly must learn to kan de kai fang de xia. many friendships come and go, its a fact of life. the sooner you come to terms with it, the less hurt you will be.

ignorance is not always bliss. pain, coz you don't understand. so think it out, with the intention of understanding it. i tell you, as people get older and more experienced they get more jaded, because they get burned and hurt, because life is cruel and people are inherently selfish. there will be very few friends who will stick by you forever who will keep giving to you and loving you through all the phases of your life. but if you insist on being ignorant and not protecting yourself, you will keep hurting and you only have yourself to blame when you grasp what friendships really are in the real world. you will learn to cope and enjoy what you have while letting go things that aren't meant to be because if you keep hurting, who will suffer? not the one who wronged you, not the friend who left you, not the friend who betrayed you, not the boyfriend who cheated on you, not the girl who gossiped about you. they dun give a shit. if you keep hurting, keep thinking about the pain, keep on NOT SLEEPING, who are you hurting? yourself. dun be so silly, let things go. you will be happy. you need to take care of yourself.

do you know we constantly worry for you. we're always discussing abt you, always trying to find a solution, always trying to figure you out and help you. when i see C*, other than a little mutual teasing and smiles, the first name we mention is always sheena. why? because we care for you, and when you hurt, we hurt on your behalf. we worry when you don't sleep. i feel sleepy for you. i want to sleep for you, also cannot you know. so please, we care so much, we want to help, but our power is limited. becasue it is your life, your mind. we can't help you.

its all up to you to be strong and to learn to let it go, to mature and learn life's most painful lessons. my life hasn't been perfect, and there have been many painful lessons i had to learn, some which you will never even experience, but i don't complain. i don't hurt anymore because life is too short to be hung up on these things. i work towards being happy for myself and for the people around me, so that i can be strong when bad things happen. and so that i can be strong on the behalf of my friends when they need me.

please be happy and i know its never easy to walk away from these things, but you have to be. you have to be stronger can? for me? and most impt for yourself. because you deserve to be happy. okay ? =)

love you la ah ger, G*




darling, i know it is impossible for you to stop being upset right at this moment but you gotta try. pal i cant wait for you to come back home. do come stay over at my place or maybe yours so that we can have a ♥ to ♥ talk. for the time being, please do be strong and i am here for you. anything call or email me. i love you. and i hope you will get over it soon. xoxo Y*.



thanks sweethearts (: you guys made me tear (':

):

the longer i stay here, the more i know.

i cnt help but feel so hurt. i tried to be pissed but no, i feel sad more than angry. how is this possible?


13 more days. im sick of all the unhappiness.

i just wanna be happy. is that too much to ask for?

bye, (hello) kitty?

argh shit, i wanna go to the hello kitty 35th anniversary thing but by the time my plane lands, it'll be over. sigh.


anyone going there, pls take more pictures and buy back some souvenirs yea :D

suicide much

i feel terrible. physically. i duno whats wrong with my body but it feels so bad that i wanna die.

so i stared at my pen knife for 15 minutes, and wondered what its like to slide the blade across my wrist. ironically, the love words are still on my arm.

i couldnt care less. what show-your-love-and-fight-depression shit. all i know is i felt so light headed and was on the verge of fainting. and no, i wasnt standing up. weirdly enough. and i swear i slept, so it wasnt fatigue. it just felt horrible, torturous. i wished it would end.

so i picked up the penknife, pushed the blade up and positioned it across my wrist. then in my mind, i pictured the blood flowing out.

which is kinda a good thing because my fear of blood made me faint right on the table. or maybe its cos of whatever's happening to my body.



but waking up, i still feel like crap now. i wanna puke but nth's coming out (no, im not bullimic) and i feel like fainting again but im not. what is wrong with this fucked up body ):

suicide, epic fail -.-

17 more days

wheeeeee countdown to home-sweet-home (:

which means 10 more days to exams. damnit. and im only 10% done ahhaha. gogogo study!



missing everyone <3

new skin (:

whew. finally got a new blogskin and me stupidly went to reset my entire layout. dumb assss. i spent like 2 whole days getting it done. sigh. and now all my previous links are gone.

okay im really happy with it now ahha so if nth goes wrong, i'll just stay with this till this blog dies.


oh well. study time :D