19.

yay very long nv blog alr.


town sucks now i tell you. for the past 10 days, ive been to town 7 times! i swear. omg. AND, ive been to starbucks 8 times!! urgh and i just checked my bankbook, ive spent 410.90 )): ON FOOD! shit man im a spending plus eating machine. i think i just gained 10kg.


so after midsems, the long awaited TERMBREAK arrived (: chionged gmp ppt, report and all. and yay for us that presentation, although screwed, ended quite well. the only sad thing was that we didnt get to present the freaking floorplan which we slogged so hard for. please, let there be peer evaluation for phase1 :X and please please please let us get best grp. i do hope our effort paid off ):

but congrats to everyone too! phase2 pia-ing time (: darn, means more itas. zach sum, i will make sure you book proj room this time.


dinner with pst clique at 85. freaking funny la they all. charmane's good mating practices (: oh and the degowning room lol.


fish and co with tonberry. i duno why wz went also but nvm la, although abit weird. we went to send ruby off. lucky ass i also wanna go korea ): blur gek lost her phone, not her fault though. but thank god for the nice manager and rookie at f&c we managed to retrieve it after body search :X sorry mr dishonest but too bad for you la hur.


up your service workshop was crap. darn waste of time. the best part was lunch la. lol veryveryvery long nv eat with lynn alr! and first time with jess (: i love her la, she's so nice, always lending me notes! and we finally got a half-pst aka dpp grp photo!

chengy eugenia and my bday celebration with our cliques plus lynn's. thankyall (: and thanks chengy and eugenia for the cake!


finally finally went to trim eyebrows with fiona. they're growing at an alarming rate la and ive been darn lazy so i dint do them myself. whew. but i look rather fierce now, so pls dont ask me if im pmsing.


award ceremony. presenting to you, the best interest group ay07/08, EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING FACILITATORS (: omg our hardwork finally paid off! thankyou committee for meetings and planning and whatcrapshit we faced, rejected memos from terence/kyle/dd/whoeverhatedus. thankyou hanjun for listening to my complaints. thankyou tangekteng for taking minutes/approving sealpoints when i shd be the one doing, i think i was more like YOUR assistant. thankyou everyone for understanding my family problems and im really sorry i had to be mia for so long. omg we finally stepped down!!

I LOVE EMILY NEO MEILING! that girl came down to cheer for me after her award ceremony! lol but thats cos her friend was going to support her bf. so she tagged along -.- anw we went town after that. seoul garden! i like (: anw, emily had meat craving. but that carnivorian took so much beef that she couldnt finish it all. lol she made the poor cow die for nothing. so we ended trying to hide the leftovers everywhere just like everyone else -.-

actually we were supposed to go dempsy. too far la, darn. awww i miss that place. pls pls pls let me get my driving licence soon!

speaking of which, my tp's 5sept. still so long cannnn. i dont mind chionging lor, not like lazy johnny :X and its so unfair, sam's 11july, junjie's 5aug, eric's 4sept. all earlier than me, and they're taking private )):


and i shopped with emily again. canele disappointed me la urgh. the caffe bar was wayyy better.


movie with shijia. accuracy of death. nehhh wasted my money la. but takashi kaneshiro's so cute its sort of worth the money :P


yane came my house before dance on wed. its been ages can. then we made plans to stayover at her place when school reopens, then we'll go to school the next day. woots. and ditto emily. but in her case, its my house since the only time she's been here is when we were in yr1, when we just got our then-beautiful identical laptops and she came over so that we can configure ours tgt (: i cnt wait la!!


after dance went t2 to meet momo sc and nick. qs that shythead, got curfew also nv say earlier. anws, wonderful brAther bought me tcc cake. actually after the cake from chengy and eugenia, i greatly feared cakes okay. nontheless, it was nice. thanks wookiatmae!


shopping with beishi. not bad, we managed to buy most of the stuff she needed for stardust. speaking of which, I WANNA WATCH!! my idol's competing too la )): how how how anyone got extra ticket to spare? maybe i can ask laoshi yefeng or beishi.

then we went vivo for starbucks after that cos we both felt it was still early. 10pm and everywhere's closed! omg how am i gonna survive perth you tell me. had a long talk with her, which brought me back to my senses.

what is it that made you take up dance in the first place? the passion, the interest.

yet, because of all these politics, most of us'd alr forgotten this simple fact. sure, dance for competitions, dance for performances, for attention, for fame, and revenge, to get close to that girl and whatsoever. but rmbr. dance, happily.

thanks for making me realise what ive forgotten. sometimes, the facts and values in life are rather simple and obvious, but they are also often forgotten and neglected. it shames me to say that almost all of us need wake up calls like these to bring us back on track. maybe sometimes, being simple-minded and innocent is really a blessing in disguise.

but no, by that i dont mean not having a mind of your own.


shopping with hanjun. happy bday to us! lol ate and ate and i swear im really becoming a tub of lard.


velocity with emily (: thanks for the treat my dear. lol third time i met her in just one week. and we had packet milk and coffee from korean supermarket! ahahha weird, but nice. midnight you dont mess with the zohan at cine. freaking lame la, but draggy. not verryyyyy nice, but its not bad a movie if you need a laugh.


anw, im 19 alr! shit la thats old. next yr i shant open any bday msges. sighs.

and, i still had to work on my bday! darn that algae la. but anw after that went dinner with fiona and daddy. treated them to chinese (: ruby and xl were like asking how come bday girl treat?

yea, bday might be like the most impt day for most ppl. like im the boss or sth. but what is a birthday? dint yall realise, its the day your parents gave birth to you. so arent they more impt than you?

so here's the special thankyou speech. even if you dont get to hear/see it.

mummy, thanks for risking your life, conceiving and giving birth to me, given your renal condition. you gave me the best you could despite our financial problems. you comforted me everytime after daddy caned or scolded me. you tolerated all my nonsense, but you never once flared up or threw your temper at me. looking back, i was such a lousy and unfilial daughter. yea, maybe giving birth to a piece of charsiew would be better. whenever i was home late, you'd call and check if i was safe, but i'd feel that you were irritating me. then you would stay up until i get home, which almost everyday is ard midnight. but i dint care, i only wanted to spend more time with tonberry. fcuk me, why dint i treasure all this in the past? you'd prepare nutritious stuff for me whenever i have exams coming up and drive me to school everyday. but i'll only take it for granted. each day, the total number of sentances i say to you, i can count with one hand and still have remaining fingers. i really regret treating you this way. but its all too late isnt it? im sorry for not treasuring you. goodbye mummy. thankyou, i miss you, and i love you.

daddy, thankyou for slogging to feed the family. thanks for taking up the role of mummy after she left. thanks for keeping her business going. im sorry that i promised to help but broke the promise in the end. im sorry that im always quarrelling with you, i guess im the one with attitude problem. sorry that i always make you angry and disobey you. but i wanna tell you that even though im not your favourite girl, i still love you. please dont do anything silly, please dont break up whats left of the family.

with love, your daughter.



okay i duno why im typing all these thankyou stuff when no one'll read it. and i do salute you if are reading this now. boring.

anw, met tonberry for minds then midnight get smart. this time i really couldnt take it alr so i dozed off some parts during the movie )): but it was rather nice! better than zohan anyway. ahhaha. thanks for the present and for spending the day with me (:

oh, and THANKS fiona clair janice meryl dor amanda susan stacey qijun yongliang ali lester derek weizhen for the watch. damn ex okay. and yes, I LOVE IT. really thanks :D

and everyone else who msged/im-ed (: but im sorry that im so bad with rmbring bdays. and yall rmbred mine ):

og birthday celebration turned out to be only a gathering with me shuang yixiang sam and des ): sorry, miscommunications :X anw, lunch at tcc (again!) then kongfu panda! hahah finally. stewpid father dowanna watch with us la. anw, its the best movie among all those i watched :D oh and thanks sam lee tionghui for carrying the heavy chemistry notes for me ah. i will mug hard and not let you down (:

I TELL YOU AH. i thought today (22jun) is sat and that tmr is sun. and now its 2am and ive not bathed! shit la i dont even know that school's starting tmr ):

i'm still trying to get myself to mug for dpp termtest. this term will be really hectic, i have to buck up on my studies and stop slacking. what i'm looking forward and dreading at the same time is the upcoming sip. i've been cramming all those pharmacotherapeutics shit into my non-existant brains, hoping to put into practice all ive learnt, but im either gonna end up being posted to some crap guardian outlet where i do nothing but to paste labels, or in school where i have to wash all the test tubes and beakers after all spoilt year ones are done with them. dammmnnned.

spain vs italy. clement loi and desmond sim go and sleep la! not nice one.

loi: tml sch reopen i must wake up earlier liao. Tp JC students will jam the bus
me: hahaha
me: YAHHH
loi: without them my trip onli 20 mins
loi: with them become 1 hr

okaaaayyy, i find this very funny.

now. resolutions for the grown up:
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tmr la, i wanna bathe desperately now. tata (:

hahah this is long.

jiemin says i use very strong words. maybe thats cos she's so hokkien and im so.. not.


okay, anws i told her once (and many others before) im not as sensitive towards hokkien as yall are. yea sure hurl vulgarities at me, i'll only be like yea i know you're angry and scolding me but that's all. i wont feel hurt and run to the toilet and sob my eyes out.

BUT. if you choose your words carefully in english or mandarin, i swear i will box your face till you bang the wall. hahahah wa dan ji liap hor le bang biah and we seriously duno what this means. jo taught char this and char started spreading to everyone else. THE WRONG THING. hahah broken telephone.

anw, see what i mean, abt the hokkien thing.



gmp oh gmp. i hope ive not overlooked anything because tmr'll be the final meeting before our beeggg day. PRESENTATION! oh i feel like shit cos ive been out of touch with the stage for so long that for once, i actually feel nervous abt presenting. see what harm sciences can do to you.

so why am i still blogging when i shd be editing that sickening floor plan. this hard work'd better pay off man.



oh, and how can anyone have THAT much discipline to blog everyday?! oh man, wish i was like this. then, i'll be able to have better results, and bigger boobs.


speaking of blog. i've been wondering how come D's blog became more intellectual these days. which is saying something because D's english has all along been horrific. serious. D has to ask me really simple vocabs that any idiot can answer, and i even have to help edit D's reports! until one day, i saw a thick book lying on D's study table and realised its a dictionary. hahaha mystery solved. but honestly, who the hell blogs with a dictionary!!! omg thats really trying too hard.

another thing, i was blog hopping and i saw EXACT phases on M's blog. HAHA! mystery solved again! nowonder D can form such poetic sentances. M's tuition centre really helps eh.

not the first time okay. it used to be my blog and now M's blog and who knows, maybe everyone else's too. then in that case, dont blog! just link us all and there you go!



and finally i saw what everyone was bitching abt. honestly, dont ppl realise that what goes ard comes ard? there you are gossipping abt ppl and here we are bitching abt you. i really dont wish to you know, but you leave me with no choice.



and how i agree with * that despite being amongst the crowd emerging from the lt, i've never felt more alone. okay yea, correction. i have felt more alone, in fact worse. but the point is, i am.

the blow came this morning. i happily woke up, intending to mug for fpath, when X started talking on the phone. i duno why im feeling this way again, like my nick says, without fail. i keep reminding myself, time and again. its not in my character to be insensitive so i dont understand why i just couldnt.



maybe this is one good factor for me to leave here without worries. its because of ppl like X that im starting ot have foolish thoughts.

for so long, jiemin and daddy's been persuading me to go aussie after poly. the main reason that's holding me back is my grandparents. i dont wanna not being able to spend more time with them before they, you know. secondly, its because of all the people ive known for so long. i dont wanna just leave behind everything because i think its rather silly. we've worked so hard for the past 19 years to build all those relationships, and then you tell me to forget it? i dont think so.

while i still am conscious, i must say this. i feel so foolish because i feel that no one really cared and i dont feel like i belong. and that is really saying something because i really really value relationships. i only wanna leave cos i wanna know ppl's reaction if i disappeared frm the face of the earth.

i really dont wish to regret in future, like i always have. sajc, htm. i dont want history to repeat itself.



anw, byebye fpath. thanks to you.

although i think i shd seriously stop pointing fingers when its really my fault. my gosh. someone help me pls pls pls.


haha, ernest. wikipedia is shit.