avoidance.

this isnt the solution. yea so what if i survived 2 weeks? can i survive for 2 more years?

forget it. i really dont know what to say to you anymore. you are so far away.

i tried. i really did! its either you forgot or you just dont care. well, its okay anw. its over. i could really show you the evidence.

iguides main comm. sighs.

i know. i should be grateful for the chance. but im wasting it away. wth is wrong with me.

emily day + ahgong's birthday!

omg. i woke up early in the morning (fine, it was 1030hr, but not exactly v late though!) and when i walked out to the living room, the first person i saw was winwin korkor. i was like shit and i ran back to my room. why the hell is he at my house at such a ____ (insert word) timing?!?!

and 1 hour later, he flew off to thailand with uncle victor. okay that explains it. my house is like 1 bus stop away from the airport.

went out with emily darling, supposedly to have lunch but that poor girl lost her ezlink and she had to cab down. aww, in order not to keep me waiting. so i treated her to new york new york. okay fine, i owed her a xmas prezzie (when that woman nv even give me xmas prezzie in the first place la! see im such a nice friend)

er, should have listened to shuang about nyny. yea should have just stick to ca. gosh, i rmbr seumas and xl's babarian burgers.

heh, i like talking to emily! okay, maybe its cos long time nv see her. but anw, it was nice (:

after lunch walked ard to take pics. omg she's a cam whore. i mean i knew that, but being such a nice friend (*ehem) i decided to cam whore with her :X which i only do with sa peeps. hey ai mei li, be honoured!

and i cnt go for cya today cos its ahgong's birthday celebration at my house.

ah gong's birthday today was, boring at first then it became fun! haha okay i guess i was too hungry thats why i dint talk all the way until i finished my dinner. and im determined to ask dina and sophie out one day. i mean it. erm, after all my appointments, that it. sorry to say that they're kinda at the back of the priority list ): opps.

(tonberry'd better see this. they're the ones at the top of my list!)

talked abit with sophie and dina, then with gary&wife and eric&partner. (oh, did i mention that i saw eric and his gf's neoprint the other day? i was at marina's arcade with the og when i saw their pic on the monitor. they got 3rd! omg.)

and i talked alot with sylvia and steve. ahhhh okay i knew steve was going to scold me ): but yea, it was my fault. bu ting lao ren yan, really. but it was nice (:

then i went over to "kbox" room 1. OMG seriously. i went in and the first thing that came to my mind was *%$#^$&$%#^* . they were singing ji ki sio hou sua! (whatever la. it means little umbrella or sth like that. but i'd really rather rihana's)

so i went over to "kbox" room 2 (after mentally labelling room 1 as 40 and above and hoping that room 2 would be 40 and below) and to my, erm, dismay and at the same time relief, they were singing faye wong. songs from 10 years ago. okay, but at least it was better than 40 and above.

joyce can sing! and so can carol! and when sandy's dad came in and declared he's only 30, carol's husband said yo ah? (means, waist ah?) OMG MEANIE.

and joel finally agreed to let me tuition him! YESAH. i dont mind travelling all the way to the other side of the island, even if i dont get any salary or what. he's my nephew, i have to! and he's finally willing to study. okay, he has no choice though, psle is like 3 mths away. i'll have to sacrifise tonberry time and study time, but still, i think its worth it.

carol told me joel's story. one day, he came back crying, because his gf's dad'd caned her. WHY? because he caught them kissing. OMG PRIMARY SIX! im eighteen and ive not had my first kiss yet! seriously, kids.

im hungry, but i shall be a good girl and go to sleep now.

oc oc all the way! (in my dreams)

i duno why im acting like i duno. but its okay cos i know you dont care. at least you tried.

yea, at least you tried.

chapter 63

blah. i hate ppl with no originality. i mean, copy if you must, but at least acknowledge your source? hell, you're breaking the copyright act, chapter 63!

and not work like tutorials. hell, you know im not those competitive kind. you know i'd give a damn about tutorials. go ahead and copy all you want, i dont give a fcuk about them. as if teachers check the answers anw. but work which reflects your sense of creativity. that explains the term creative director. i dont get that credit for nothing.

so next time if you feel like copying someone's work, ASK. i wouldnt mind you copying my work. either that or acknowledge.

oh and from now on i shall refrain from saying the word gah. weini says it sounds retarded coming from me. erm kinda. so smack me if i do

dead.

thanks charles, tionghan, wengtat, fukang, melvin, chenghar, emily, ying, huimin, sharon, justina, kahang, gek and ishie. although advices and suggestions dont really work on me, im sorry that i forgot them all, but still, i appreciate them (: they made me feel alot better.

im lucky in a way. just that when i think of it..

i heard someone saying this just now at the library. if given a choice, i'd rather die of cancer than a car accident. okaaaayy. i'll rather die of a car accident la. at least the ppl ard me would treasure me more.

my dad asked me if i wanna go further my studies overseas in future. if he had asked me 3 months ago, i would have rejected. but now, i really feel like flying off straight away.

charles: cliques narrow your social circle

okay, i shall look at it in a brighter way (:

on a hapier note,

samuel [ SMILE! ] says:
I AM CLEAN CAN

omg. clean sounds, wrong.

the love story of the century. omg. treasure her la, silly.

faith.

fcuk. i freaking wanna watch transformers can.

yt joyce xiu yh.
wen.
ym mich.
km jo gx.
hui.
dok.
juan jb.
regi kel.
ellen wt pei.
tonberry.

forget it. ive lost that faith alr.

once is bad enough. twice is traumatising. the tenth time is fcuk shit. i need psychotrophics.

tell me, does the problem lie with me? or is it just fate?

and still, im just a kid.

chankameng sucks

yesaaahh organic chem done. marketing left. which shdnt be a feat now that ive scaled oc proj. blah but it was thanks to chengy lynn clemmy and shai. haha it was nice working with them! hope dr ong'll put us back into the same group for instrumental analysis next year. hahah pia PIA. thats funny.

omg lynn's going mad. she's sitting opp me, reading half blood prince and laughing to herself. okay, maybe she's too happy that the project's finally over. but hey! she's reading my autobiography ((:

sth happened during puo today. cos it was 1045 alr, 15 mins to plm. and we've alr finished topic 4's lect. but chankameng wanted to continue to topic 5. so we had a small discussion.

chan: class, do yall still wanna continue with topic 5?
us: noooooooooooo (deep and low voice)
chan: okay so we'll go summarise what we've learnt today for topic 4.
us: noooooooooooo (deep and low voice)
chan: then do yall rmbr about the tutorial quiz next week?
us: noooooooooooo (deep and low voice)
chan: rmbr to study for topic 3 okay?
us: noooooooooooo (deep and low voice)
chan: and try the examples before 3.6 okay?
us: noooooooooooo (deep and low voice)

and i swear he hates me. serious. i can see the hatred in his eyes.
he scolds me for every single thing.
he scolds me when i eat.
he scolds me when i put my leg on the chair.
he scolds me when i nv sign my attendance.
he scolds me when i handed in my pract lab report.
he scolds me when i ask charles questions.
he scolds me when i put my head on the table.
he scolds me when i borrow notes from charles.
he scolds me when i photocopy the steam tables from esther.
he scolds me as and when he likes.
he scolds me whenever he can.
he scolds me just because he hates me.

i swear that if he has magic, he'll torture me like what snape does to harry. roar.

he's a freaking lazy teacher. the laziest one and ever get. ive nv seen a lazier teacher than him. oh wait, is he even qualified to be labelled as one?

which teacher procastinates marking stuff, even quizzes and pract from long long time ago?
which teacher pushes every job to the lab assistant while he himself sits down there and read?
which teacher gives every lame excuse just not to stay back after his given time slot to teach someone who has missed the lecture because she had to go for another lecture at the same time?
which teacher awards full marks to anyone who never attempted the question just because there was a mistake in it, while pinalizing those who did?
which teacher abuses his power by scolding someone he hates when he feels like it?

i seriously swear that he goes home at like 4pm everyday. fcuk it.

and he's so gross that even when he tried contacts and gelling his hair (note the gel, NOT wax), the whole class almost puked. what, is he getting a 2nd wife or sth? oh wait, you mean he's even married?

i swear i did not copy and paste the above words. i typed them out slowly one by one. i mean every word i say, with my sweat and blood. hahaah okay maybe not much.

reuben just did sth lame. omg omg i cnt stop laughing.

alrights, off to hap lect! i dont heart circulatory system ):

- Hurt

im damn scared that i'll become like you. how, omg.

oh and i wanted to say that cross road thing too! *gushes*

went to christina aguilera's back to basics concert with gek just now (: yayness. thanks to paul. but duno why he gave he tix away for free. but not as if they're very good seats. oh i shdnt be complaining :X

my god. she rocks man. voice is damn power, waaay diff from her album.

cya. talked talked and talked with serena and cailing. love my sunday girls (: and serena goh guizhen my darling sister ((:

anw, why is it always me who's doing the talking? initiative appreciated thank you very much. here i am trying so hard but you're doing nothing. forget it.


Hurt - Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you


i knew this will happen. but i kept consoling myself that things would change. but now that this thing occurred, im sure that, we'lll never be back to normal again.