suan le.

OMG! i feel damn bad ):

i hate my memory! and most of all, i hate my temper.

i scolded X for nothing. sheesh. just because i forgot. and im so angry i deleted her + blocked. oh dear.

anw, i feel like shit. i duno why you're treating me like this. revenge huh? i never thought this day would come. im guessing you feel the same way too.

but still, it started with me. so i shouldnt blame anyone.

to another you. i thought for damn long, and i still think it is YOUR fault that everything turned out this way. i wished you could take up responsibility for everything but, its all too late. so what if you did, nothing can be changed alr.

okay fine, it takes 2 hands to clap so i should be partly responsible too.

i really feel like crying. tuition just now was.. better but, i really duno what the hell im doing. so what if i know how to do? i dont understand a single shit! how to teach like this?

whatever happened to that fighting spirit? and all that goals.

i miss sa again ):

i saw * with a girl today! cries, he's attached!

nvm, 1 eyecandy down, many more to go ((:

and im starting to miss sa again. after looking at all the pictures and reading everything about the past.

but deep down i know that i'll always be - Once a Saint, Always a Saint.

seniors! please dont go!!

i dowan next ay to come ):

meaning the yr3s are gonna graduate alr ):

meaning no fun at sisters island. nobody to help pitch tent and field cook for us. no more nice jarrel to help us with flying fox. no more sarcastic keith to laugh at me. no more medic ivan to bandage my leg. no more funny paul to share stories with us. no more vina to accompany me. no more big nose joe to eat ice cream with. no more yu an to win joe's big nose.

CRIES. elf aint gonna be fun anymore.

and that means no more 5 years lex to disturb! and.. you're gonna leave alr ): sobs.

i dowan i dowan i dowan ):

and next ay means that sa's gonna start chionging As and that stupid des and maurice all the more wont come out and play ): sighs i miss them all. esp mugger sam. he's soooo gonna stay at home.

and i'll be a junior! i dowan! i wanna be freshie forever (: freshie oie!

and that means im gonna die cos i'll be taking all those sure-fail subjects. biochem, human anatomy and physiology, human physiology and immunology sth like that whatever shit that is. AND PATHOLOGY! omg those dead stuff. and its pbl my god!

speaking of which, i went to ite college east the other day for the national education symposium or whatever, and they wanted to change the ss syllabus to sth like pbl. shit them la. sec sch is all about mugging please. and the rj ppl had the face to claim that they had lotsa projects to do in sec sch. i bet the whole room wanted to beat them up.

seriously, rj-ians are nerds. so are hc-ians. okay maybe not all. but still, majority! (:

lets talk about iguides.

promo day! got to know lifang. ahhaha she's so funny! and she like to pinch my neh neh pok! ahha opps inside joke.

and mel (: i love dinner-ing with her and lifang!

speaking of which, long time nv eat tgt alr!

cny tmr! which means exams are coming too ):

alrights im supposed to mug. byebye

just my luck

to you.

i know you're concerned about me this few days, but just to let you know that, i realised that im only like this when im with iguides. okay maybe in otc too, but iguides have more interactions nowasdays. so the problem lies with ig.

not entirely. but what i mean is, i only feel this way in ig. but i cnt blame anyone, only myself. its my fault that i have this feeling because i dont have your luck to have such a nice group. in fact, my group dont even accept des and i as part of them la. just because we have to keep running ard for ppr, they feel that we're not part of the team?

and then, i joined ig because of you and now you just leave me there to die. i cnt blame you because you have better friends there. yea you might say i have des and jialing, but to tell you the truth, im sick of seeeing des' face now that i feel abit.. as for jialing, true i can stick with her as long as tim is not around. same goes for karen iris and lifang. when they're alone, they can be very close with me. but once they are reunited with their friends, im all alone again.

like the bridge. you were there highing with vivian and did you realise i was there? and i know you did invite me to dinner and all, but i dint want to cos i know your group will still eventually stick among themselves, or rather treat me like invisible again. so what if i go? they'll talk to you and you'll be talking back with them.

but the worst of all is that day after meeting. you said that we were going to eat so i waited with you. and in the end you had to ask me who im waiting for. meaning you had no intention to eat with me? what you meant was you were going with your group, and i stupidly interpreted as WE are going together.

dont get me wrong, like i told you, im not angry with you. im just pitying myself for having such lousy luck. lousy group with only 6 iguides with no enthusiasm and no acceptance. and a bimbotic one for otc.

yea, i was abit unhappy with you at first. but come to think of it, if i were you, i'd do the same too. its not your fault at all for having such wonderful group.

its just my luck.

i thought you were different from the rest.

ARGH SISTERS ISLAND IS POSTPONED TO NEXT AY!

sheesh all the rushing and failing of school work for nothing. and not to mention skipping of work and earning less money. irritating *** and that director.

open house tmr ):

i wanna watch sa vball match ((:

tian mu xia de lian ren (:

guess you're all the same after all.

cya and snails. I WANT LUCK (:

back from cya! very late today cos.. serena and i went shopping after work! hahah in the airport! ((: i like i like!

walking home at night is horrible. there's a snail party downstairs. yea, i saw 5 snails gathered together and 3 other snails being squashed. EWWWWWWWWW. like those soft-shelled ones. gross. dont ppl ever look at the floor when they walk?!?! those poor yucky snails. i think its cos of the rain la.

as much as i love the rain, i hope it'll stop. for the sake of the snails. not that i pity them, its just i dont want them in my path. gross.

my luck's really gone. today was super suay. first, i stupidly took a bus to school instead of going to the airport! and my ice cream was soaked ): cos i ran after the bus. then when i realised im on the wrong bus, i quickly alighted at school. i was going to be late and my leg was hurting like fuck so i decided to cab down. but i couldnt get a frigging cab! argh. then after 10 mins i went opposite instead. the most heart atack causing thing is, A CAB JUST ZOOMED PAST RIGHT WHEN I WAS ON THE BRIDGE! arghhhh i was gonna die of high blood pressure. so i waited and waited and ended up late anyway.

i want luck! i should go to a gypsy fortune teller. yea, i'll just do that. or any chinese one will do.

luck.

and i thought this whole week was my lucky week. the bad luck had to come slapping right on the last day ):

well, maybe there's no such thing as lucky charm after all. im just the bad luck magnet forever.

kan zhe ni yao zuo
hai zhuang zhe xiao rong
yan shi de cui ruo yao cheng duo jiu
ru guo xian zai kai kou
ru he wan liugan qing zhe tiao xian
zhu ding zhi neng zhe me yuan

and forever transparent.

dyinggggg

maybe i really should take long leave ): cries.

im dying la. physically and psychologically T.T

AND academically.

bi shang yan shu le san bian
ni ying gai yao chu xian
dan ni que you shi yue
rang wo kan bu jian

police officers are nice (:

well, most anw.

case 1 (:
when: the day when i lost my phone ):
where: outside tampines npc.
who: policewoman, me, elvoodoosa and des.
what: policewoman (to elvoodoosa and des): yall want to wait for her outside? cos inside (police station) got alot of customers.
why: she's too busy that she said the wrong thing :D

case 2 (:
when: the same day ):
where: inside tampines npc.
who: police officer and me.
what: police officer: so have you informed your dad about it? (me losing my phone)
me: er no. he's currently overseas.
police officer: oh. then what about your mum?
me: she's overseas too.
police officer: huh! then are you living with anybody else?
me: yea, my sister.
police officer: oh, good! elder?
me: no, younger.
police officer: HUH!?!?! your case is the worst ive ever seen.
why: he's too shocked that im so calm about my phone (:

ps, he's cute! (:

case 3 (:
when: sunday. cya day.
where: airport police pass office.
who: police officer, me and serena.
what: (i was late and serena and i insisted that the airport clock was fast so we went check the clock at the police pass office.)
me (looks at the police pass office clock): argh! my watch is slow!!
police officer: HA! late!
me (fumbles through wallet for ic): argh shit never bring ic!!
police officer: HA! cannot go in transit!
why: he's too amazed that im so blur (:

ps, he's cute too! ((:

case 4 (:
when: next sunday. cya day again.
where: airport police pass office.
who: police officer, me and serena.
what: police officer (handing out passes to us): goh wanning sheena?
me: -raises up left hand while busy writing-
police officer: dont worry, you're not in school.
why: he's too amused that i miss school so much (:

case 5 (:
when: just now while i was waiting for the bus to go home.
where: at the place where the bus stops.
who: police officer and me.
what: (i was limping toward the shelter and the police officer walks past me)
police officer (looks at my leg): are you okay?
me: yea (:
police officer: how did you get the wound? nothing illegal i hope.
me: heh heh -smiles sheepishly-
why: he's too worried that i went to rob a bank and got that cut.

anyway, it WAS something illegal! ahhaha climb over the gate. but yea, you expect me to tell a police officer? later he catch me sia.

other nice "police": heng dai, edmund, jarrel, ivan (: HAHA. not counted.

and no, i do not have a fettish for police (:

hmrph

BU SHOU XING YONG! roar.

remind me never to talk to you again.

i hope that it's just me (:

ARGHHH. i cnt believe i missed oc1 prac during the hols. wth she said it was posted on ole. yea right. i flipped the whole blackboard upside down and NOT A SINGLE FREAKING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS POSTED OKAY. study guide? you never gave it to me in the first place la, thanks.

fri. helped hanping and nganleng put up the banner after sch. wah sucks la the nylon string. rope burn?!?! but still managed to put it up after endless tries ):

met gek and bryan at the bus stop so decided to go with them to buy des' present. so we bought a cake from bread talk, a banana and STRAWBERRY you-know-what :D cos someone somehow somewhat likes strawberries ((: then he had to demo how to put it on the banana and we all videoed like siao. HAHA YOU-TUBE ((: my photography skills suck la. hanping says she got giddy watching my video ): then after SI meeting erbert came with pizzas. GAH was so sick of pizza alr cos i had like 3 pieces at i guides room before i went for meeting )):

speaking of which, ever heard of the story, the boy who cried wolf? HAHA paul is the wolf and im the villager. the rest of the main comm are the liars. omg. the rest of us can be the sheep ((:

back to the celebration. hanping made des open like freaking loads of magazines (i think his fingers were sore) before she gave him the real present. and paul did a great job by smashing his head on the mini cake (:

there's a story behind the cake! when terence was driving us from sar to tcc, the ride was super bumpy and hanping had so much trouble controlling the cake (candles and all). so jialing eugene erbert and i were like smash on you, smash on you, whatever shit. and then the rest of them came aboard halfway and it was super squishy in the van, which made it even more diff to control the cake la. such a miracle that it survived and made it to tcc (:

so we stayed over at tcc breakout room after SI. the movie was damn boring and i swear the aircon was out to freeze us to death. nganleng is a polar bear!! argh. so gek hanping and i ended up sleeping outside. who cares about the icy floor when you're super tired? but still, i kept waking up at intervals. guess im not a polar bear (:

i guides packing day. i swear im never gonna do a zip in like, 10 days or so? i zipped and unzipped like.. 1500 X 2 times? fuck. thats like 3000 times. omg omg omg. i'd change with the guys anytime but they just refused to let me walk about ): okay at least they were concerned.

to YOU. i know you will never get to read this. but still, if somehow (god forbids) you stumble across this post, you'll know. HOW COULD YOU EVER SUSPECT THAT IM FAKING THE BLOODY WOUND. you saw it okay, everyone else did when ivan and gek were there cleaaning it. its freaking long and you had the nerve to ask why am i limping. TRY CUTTING YOURSELF AND RUN THEN. and for your information, i dont have my painkiller with me. even if i do, i'd still feel the pain when i walk la, LET ALONE NOT HAVING IT. fuck.

but back to packing day. - and - are so nice la. and serene and i cnt stop laughing. haha at lex, not with him. karen left halfway so dint get to talk to her much. and kacheong and fabian were busy running ard. argh the fraction died.

went to courts to meet fiona they all after camp. i think im zai for once cos i dint get lost in an unfamiliar place. or even, a total strange place. hey i got an a2 for geog (: or rather humans. oh no! inside joke.

then we wanted to go home after that but somehow my dad just drove past the tpe exit and went all the way to airport. so we ended up eating swensens there.

now i feel like a betrayer cos during the 2 days of i guides, we had ben&jerry's, thanks to jialing's mum! heh heh. and now swensen's. oh man. i suck.

oh yea budget terminal! went with serena the other day after sakae. we took the shuttle there. and, wah its super cosy like a cottage (: and the xmas decors on the outside made it look like a gingerbread house. YUMMY (: the ceiling is like damn low, like the sky's gonna fall on chicken lil. and the most heart attack-causing thing is.. times bookshop in transit area sells harry potter book 6 at ONLY A FREAKING 10 BUCKS. wtf thats like 6 times cheaper than outside. damn budget can.

i wanna go sleep but im waiting for fabian to reply me! argh its freaking impt and even nudge doesnt affect him ): fine i'll ask him another day. ive been sleeping for like 4 hours on average for this 3 weeks la. freaking tired. (NOT SHAGGED)

so, off now!

* i duno why i keep using the word freaking nowadays. then again, i think i do --> i apologise for my limited vocab ):

loooooonnnnngggg. navigate away if you wish.

gary's wedding
hahah! finally its his turn! after escaping to france for 2 yrs. but it did help though, my bcs presentation thanks to him. creme glacee (:

anw the food was nice. and it was nice seeing all the relatives! my gosh. dina and sophie were hot hot hot. gah i wish im rich too.

xmas countdown
rushed down to hj's hse after that. gek des tim and erbert were alr there. played abit and counted down. so homely!

otc
got into the same empire as des. sian la im seriously sick of seeing his face alr. its like what tim said, abt the ladder and all. anw kelvon is freaking bimbotic. i dont mind not getting into fow/foc though. imagine working with the bimbos for 1 whole week. gosh.

and why the fuck am i forever transparent?

i guides
disappointing turnout rate. i almost cried too. but, it was better than otc in some way though. and so many things happened that i cnt believe the world. poly is alr so freaking political, how is the outside world like? yea maybe studying in a neighbourhood school makes us wen shi li de xiao hua. that explains the ppl from prestigous schools. well, most. im glad im stupid for once.

er wait, i shall atempt to explain my theory, i guess not everyone knows about it though. here goes.

neighbourhood schools (maybe not all, but definately evs!)
= jiang yi qi
= loyal
= innocent (in a way)
= carefree
/= hypocritical #

okay at least those who are like us, the non competitive, bo chup students. minus seumas lyana sc those kinda competitive ppl.

thats why im sooo going back evs to teach. so what if its ah beng/ah lian school?

okay im drifting off. back to topic. (what was i talking about again? oh yea i guides)

karen looks horribly like regina la! hahah my snow white. love her mans (: and I freaking miss regina too ): hey speaking of which, she’s online now.

i freaking cut my leg when i climbed over the alp gate la. i was the only suay one ): but hey! im man. its damn deep plus long. but why does it still hurt now?

and sth funny. we went to sar so that the main comm could meet and i could do sth to my wound (terence drove us there from tcc!) elf ivan was cleaning my wound and i got freaked out and couldnt stop crying. terence wanted to tie up my leg to stop me from kicking him but thank goodness he dint la or i would have killed him. so gek let me grab her with one hand and hanping gave me her bolster to hug. but still, i couldnt stop crying. just then ngan leng came can gave me 2 packets of nachos. not only did i stop crying, i grined and started attacking the nachos. hahaha ((: pig.

okay erm, end of i guides i guess. and. im still trnsparent ):

random
went for sushi with serena! haha my bestie from cya (: cos we always rove together. and met up with mel mel to pass her her card. silly girl left her pressie at yoshinoya. sighs. went shopping with emily dear and had sushi again! gahh and that was after i cut my leg. oh man and i stupidly went to eat seafood and i think there's pus on my wound alr. i hope not though, what can that yellow fluid be? anw that girl had a cut on her face so everywhere we went, ppl were staring at us and were like, why 1 kena face 1 kena leg. haha so we spun a story that we had a minor accident while in a cab :X well it beats climbing over the lousy gate eh.

and. caspar and joanna came back! but i think jianzhen left. duno what happened but he just took his name tag away and left silently. duno if i shld be happy or not since he's so dao. but then again, he's nice. so its another nice person down. plus that wicked ashley is coming back. i'd rather the lousy hateful santha.

movies movies! watched night at the museum after work on hari raya eve with ivan jiamao jianzhen ken ryan aqila and xiangzheng shihui somehow poped into the pic. i wouldnt go if i'd known. first time working with jiamao leh. after that 3 months. but he daoed me! ahh! i hate being transparent. nvm i still have ivan ken and ryan. but natm still rocked!

dinner with elvoodoosa at pasta then went for death note marathon with gek and csc. i think its either the 2nd movie was too draggy or we're too tired after the first, gek and i ended up doozing off quite very often. and the thing is, you can still not miss any impt stuff. this proves that it is in fact very draggy. haha level6, 13 marks!! yays ss seq :P

no school today cos no lab on wed = no school! i love weds and fris (: tue thu go away!

and. i guess thats all for now. cnt wait to finish fei tin and borrow vcd from kahang!

bye bye 2006!

another year, gone.

2006 had been the most eventful so far. even though 2005 had been bad.

jan. sort of patched up with dok. but still, we werent as close as before. but i got closer to yane though, through all the job hunting and pool. yup (:

then there was first 3 mths at sa too. orientation was the best times of the year. even better than foc. SAINTALDEIA'06. og16 rock on! really love them all. though we drifted apart by midyr, i know that there's still those memories in them (:

jibin. huijuan. sam. yixiang. desmond. daniel. sheryl. minxin. shuanghong. selwyn. siewjing. luke. OG FAMILY FOREVER (:

feb. got closer to the cg and boy! the times we had. the vball games after school when we stubbornly refused to change before playing. the poning of tutorials. the daoing of teachers. the laughter at the lts. hahaha the memories come flooding back.

olevel results out. i cried so much for dok. thanks to the cg who comforted me (: love you guys. although dok still drifted from me in the end, those tears werent wasted at all. at least you guys cared.

weiting. ellen. desmond. maurice. regina. peilian. saraa. kelly. elaine. shenghan. terence. jinhui. sengyong. jermyn. 06S05 rocks ((:

mar. those who were leaving, left. i was the only one who was still crashing. and like weiting said, maybe they all forgot the fun we had. and even she dint have that missing kinda feeling anymore. and she's not even guilty of it. i think most of them too.

apr. work at oag. rubbsh shit la. at least i got to see how political the business world is. ahhah like the apprentice. but still, i duno what made me insist on going to htm. maybe its cos of dok.

foc'06. met wonderful ppl like hanjun mingxin gary and reuben there. im so glad that yane made me go with her cos without foc, i wont get to know these bunch of ppl. and not to mention subsequently, elvoodoosa!

start of school. everyone was still so innocent and carefree then. 1H02 was so bonded. but like what emily said, it was so fake that i feel disgusted thinking about it now.

may. cliques started to form. i was still loving my clique until they all left one by one. and the worst thing is, they dint say a word. they just left when they felt like it cos they wanted to join the more HIP clique. but look where they are now. HA.

thank goodness for the cg dinner. or else, i would have died in school.

jun. elf t3 saved my poly life. got to know elvoodoosa! would have died without them. og birthday! damn fun. but that was also the last time we had a gathering together. sighs.

jul. htm started to get worse. internal conflicts due to projects and all. everyone started showing their claws and my results were so sucky i felt like shit.

aug. seriously felt like changing course. got much closer with elvoodoosa though.

sept. knct! my eyecandies (: and slumber party! gek's birthday. the goodies among all the baddies. guess it was sort of a blessing.

oct. work work work. but glad i got to know some nice ppl (:

mel mel. joanna. ken. ryan. caspar. ivan. jiaomao. jianzhen. zafir.

not forgetting sajc open house! sighs too bad dint get to see my real ec ):

nov. busy month. super stressed that i almost turned to smoking. thank goodness for vitasoy, 100plus and starbucks! hahah. plus the course transfer. damn stressed out. and because of them too.

dec. term test. gahh almost died studying. and i still do. freaking suay month too. first my wallet. then phone. and my leg. and everything else too. not to mention my sucking results. and stand chart, sisters' island, savannah. otc and iguides too.

NOW ITS JAN AGAIN (: lets just hope that 2007 would be better! ((: