prelims just suck

chem is screwedd. like take a screwdriver and screw it in. all the way in.

argh mr yeo big fat liar. he said the paper was okay lor. but turned out it was so difficult i swear it was the worse chem paper i ever took. sheesh. dont think can get my A alr. sighs and i thought math and phy were bad enough. at least now i know there sth worst then math and phy. well thats supposed to be a consolation. -shrugs-

AHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT SOMETHING SOMEONE SOME PICTURE. HAHAHHAHA. JULIAN SENT ME THAT PIC. HE CANT STOP LAUGHING TOOO. WE'RE HIGH FROM SCREWING UP PHYSICS AND CHEM.

AMATH ALL THE WAY! oh ya, i forgot the rest still have sci and bio =P

1 PAPER LEFT. if you count both amath tgt. (them: 2 papers left) =P

ahhhh gonna chiong after prelims alr. MOVIE MARATHON AT NANS HOUSE! er sort of a wish come true since i cnt have sleepover.

sighs ANNA! take care of yourself! super worried for you sia. dont stress yourself up. we all will xin tong one. and 3 jackets is... i duno. i feel hot for you.

i duno why im actually reduced to blogging abt my complaints. i mean, all i used to blog abt was what we did and how happy everyone was. it was supposed to be a happy blog. but duno since when, all i have to blog is how UNhappy i am. how i dont have friends and all. and practically everything.

i really really really envy everyone. like they all have their own cliques. jessy-yile-cheryl, anna-huilin-xj-meiyan, winnie-michelle.. , shena-geraldine, ahbu-gx-joanne-xy, yuanlin-michelle, yane-jaz-nans-zira.. i know i have them, but after all im just a classmate to them. like yah we can talk in class. but we never go beyond that stage. admit it la, everyone prefers to with their own cliques right. if not, why would there be such a word? you and your friends have the same interests and obviously can click well, thats why yall can form that clique.

and i can positively say nobody have the almost exact interests as me except her. i mean, after 4 years in evs, i duno which of my friends like to do what meh?

wahlao i cnt believe how weak i am. i actually cried after reading minor posts of other pple's blogs. means what? i shoulnt blogsurf anymore?

my sis is stressing me up man. her eoys are like 2 weeks away and she's alr studying like hell. and she actually scolded me for blogging. hello? i 1 week nv use com alr okay? haha she so kan cheong for what sia.

sighs i think im suffering from mild depression. thanks goodness for my prisch friends whom i still keep in touch with. although we're not as close now, (i think 2 years nv meet up alr) yall still can cheer me up by talking rubbish of your school life. but i dont think we can confide in each other again.

this entry is long but i dont care. im on a blogging spree. i wanna say out all my problems at 1 go and i'll nv complain again. i mean it. from now on if i have nth happy to blog, then i wont blog.

i duno why. is it me or is it that i cnt keep a friendship long. lets analyse the trend.

k2- ruben and hazel. (see i still rmbr their name) we had to go diff prischs so byebye. although reben ended up in the same prisch, we were in diff classes and i think he forgot abt me la.
p1- joan and chui lam. they left me cos joan backstabbed me. (at such a young age?) then got to know jialin. but went diff classes in p2.
p2- bren became my best friend but we kept quarrelling so mrs tay seperated us. she went to sit with pris and me, vivien. xin'en was they peacemaker :)
p3- diff classes again. bren promised to stay tgt, go recess tgt. but broken promises. knew yeetien, but joyce came into the pic and so she, xiuru and yinghui joined us.
p4- yt and i drifted away so i became close with yinghui. knew bz and julian.
p5- diff classes yet again (i hate rss for always breaking me and my friends up) and only yt ended up in my class. same class with jialin ang yingmin again. knew dagian and wx and i became closer with her cos of chior and chi dance. yt got to know jingyu. i got to know weichen, yeelin and yize.
p6- jialin was my best friend. but yingmin offended her or sth so we drifted away and she went with dagian. wx was with pris gan. chenkai became my partner. so yingmin and yanming became my best friends. the best misunderstanding ever happened. stupid. yingmin quarrelled with me and another misunderstanding happened! shit. it was abt yanming's watch. so ended up we didnt talk too. then yingmin got to know bren who was then in 6/4. and somehow they became close.

argh!! long story. and that was just prisch.

sec1- went evs ALONE. ahbu was my first friend. then got to know gx, momo, yane, xj and that girl who transferred school. jo became close with gx. so me and momo.
sec2- lots of quarrels among us. but we all managed to settle them. started to get close with shena and lyana.
sec3- got closer to anna, shena, xj, lyana and huilin cos i was the only one who went to foursix. drifted off from ahbu and gx cos they got to know joanne and xy. got really close with hulin and sw and qin cos of co and hence dok. started going recess with them. jessy and yile became closer with me too. drifted off from huilin. beacme closer with the guys.
sec4- patched up with huilin. got even closer with shena and anna and winnie thanks to camp. and yuanlin michelle. and reconciled with ahbu and gx again. thanlks to camp again :) became real close with dok cos of huilin and swimming. drifted off cos of misunderstandings again. misunderstandings with huilin again and anna became close with her. anna had misunderstandings with winnie but they cleared them now.

argh! i finally know whats the problem! its always changing of classes, misunderstanding and drifting! but why? anyone tell me? yet fiona can stay with her clique after 3 yrs of diff classes. like every yr there will be someone in diff class. but they still have guzheng la. sighs. green with envy.

but like anna, even though hers is not exactly a clique, she still have soooooo many pple concern about her. i think if 1 day i have lukemia i think the whole class will be cheering lor let alone donate bone marrow.

chatted with yan jialin. ah long time nv chat. gonna start chatting with pple i lost touch with soon. like the both yms :)

urgh this is long. shall stop if not anna will nv get to read. haha byebye

[edit] omg!! lots of rss pple in team singapore lor! weichen: table tennis. yaopeng: national sprinter. shiyang and qiangsen: bball. cool :) [/edit]

sick.

i really shoudnt be blogging right now but i have to say this.

felt really sick in the morning. terrible headache. dint want to go school but realised eoys coming so cnt afford to miss lessons. so went ahead to school with that sick look.

im surprised that such a small headache can bring about SO MUCH attention. out of the 6 of you, only momo and ll cared, or should i say, even noticed. and all i have to say is, im utterly disappointed in yall. i know, im not in four seven. so naturally, im not your "group of gals". go ahead and be happy SIX friends for all i care.

sometimes i really hate -. take today for example. im really pissed by you. just what the hell is your problem man?

to do list:
- find cure for headache
- mug!!

forget it. i really dont know what to say to you anymore.

- Untitled

argh i wanna buy boa's dvd but im damned broke :(

oh i had a weird dream ytd. i dreamt that foo told us that merger/seperation and venice are coming out for prelims. hope its true. lol

so i studied venice and now im left with the fall. and 6 topics for chem and 6 for phy. sighs. and everything for both math. i can die.

ooh david tao david tao david tao my love.

my back hurts like crazy.

my anata :)

no im not gonna do anything else to save it. time to let go.

Untitled by Simple Plan
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember howI can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
And life goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
And life goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

friend.

koped this from charles' story. damned true.

A friend should not be [sic] hypocritical but show how you really feel. A friend leaves behind everything else, just to spend time with you. A friend never fails to give support, be it moral or mental support. A friend will always be there for you.

anna and winnie yall better read this!

wahlao sc is damned ____ (fill in the blank yourself). doesnt he know that all of us dont like to go study with him? and i am 1 of them. in fact, im on top of the list. everyday ask if i study alr or not. please la so competitive for what? sighs lyana and you really 1 kind. er yall quite pei actually huh.

ANNA NG and WINNIE LEE!!

forgive me for being rude but WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? you want to be as close as yall used to with her again and she wants it too! cant yall just shake hands and reconcile?!? whats up with grumbling in your own blogs? so zhi shang tan bing! its just so easy! anna, mon buy 1 bar of chocolate give winnie. winnie, mon buy 1 bar of chocolate give anna. TADA! shake hands and everything's back to normal! ming tian hui geng hao :)

omg charles' really great at writing stories. maybe he can become a writer in future. haha.

and yeah. im mentally prepared for that.

- Skater Boy

chopped my hair again! haha but think its better than last time ba :D

laopa's gonna join the xiao yuan superstar thing. haha and cos i was abit skeptical about his singing so he said he's gonna record his rendition of long juan fong FOR ME. haha thats a promise. but anw i was telling him i help him choose his song for the audition. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. there i give you lyrics.

okay not funny. fine la go sing your li sheng jie song and AT LEAST get thru the first round. then you'll be the youngest contestant. cool

er somehow i think that - and i have abit mo qi. but ah its just hallucination.

was clearing up my stuffs ytd and i saw lotsa worksheets which huilin and i used to scribble on. er, realised that actually we used to be quite close huh. but duno why became like that. no la actually i do. and i sort of --------. no comments.

argh i know what i'll see when i look into the mirror of erised. mato smiling at me. yea dream on mato.

and then i realised how much ive changed. i no longer care how pple feel, like even if they're happy or sad, its none of my business anymore. and i wont pretend that i care either. since pple doesnt give a damn about me why should i bother so much.

i wonder how some pple can actually be happy. yah yah like what pris says, you must find your own happiness. haha if she's happy alone without me then how can i happy? ah nvm im talking rubbish.

i finally knew how great the power of love can be.

Skater Boy by Avril Lavigne
He was a boy, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk, she did ballet
What more can I say?

He wanted her, she'd never tell
Secretly she wanted him as well
But all of her friends stuck up their nose
And they had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth

Five years from now, she sits at home
Feeding the baby, she's all alone
She turns on tv
Guess who she sees
Skater boy rockin' up MTV

She calls up her friends
They already know
And they've all got tickets to see his show
She tags along and stands in the crowd
Looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
Now he's a super star
Slamin' on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy
He wasn't good enough for her
Now he's a super star
Slamin' on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl but you missed out
Well tough luck that boy's mine now
We are more than just good friends
This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see
See that man that boy could be
There is more that meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boy, and i'm just a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love, haven't you heard
How we rock each others world

I'm with the skater boy, I said see ya later boy
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be at the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About a girl you used to know

plans for hols.

hmm i shall try to enjoy the hols.

things i wanna do:
- ice skating
- movies
- TALK TALK TALK WITH HER
- sentosa
- sleepovers
- cut hair (ITS WASTING DAMN A LOT OF SHAMPOO)
- go out with them (but dont think they want)
- swim
- save up for the stuffs i want
- watch STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN watch PRIDE watch YUMMY YUMMY (its coming out on channelu soon)

things i have to do although i dont like:
- mug like hell
- decide whether to cut or not to cut (hair la)
- mug some more
- even more
- mug until i die

rubbish.

urgh fiona goh faster buy banditto come back!!

oh yes HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO LAO PA!! cos dint blog ytd. haha :)

OKAY off to mug now. bye then.

meiyan!!

i need to talk to meiyan!! but she's not online!! urgh.

random thoughts

random things going through my mind.

1. the more you try to stand out the more you fail. some people are born different. they stand out from the rest without trying to or without knowing it whereas the rest are just the rest. people like me. just a nobody. but nothing wrong with that too. know who you are. know where you stand. zi zhi zhi ming. i need that. so i shouldnt bu zi liang li.

2. i suddenly have this weird feeling. i don't feel stressed anymore. i dont live for good grades. maybe you're right, study also fail don't study also fail THEN STUDY FOR WHAT. its not the right attitude to have but suddenly im feeling that way. just before the exams started i still had that fighting spirit. i wanted to do my best and study damn hard just to get good grades and make my parents happy. im just living up to other peoples expectations. i should start living for myself make myself happy and not feel sad just because my friend feels sad.

3. i don't pressurize myself. call it slacking or whatever, at least i feel that i can breathe. i don't know what im doing in 406. even chenkai was so shocked my average is so bloody low -.- he happily said EH I THOUGHT YOU LAST TIME VERY SMART ONE. yeah man just the thing i wanted to hear. rah.

4. i duno what life is gonna be like next year. changes. small ones big ones. and definitely changes i dont like. but i have to adapt. that's the only way to go on right? the world doesn't wait for you to slowly decide whether or not you embrace the change. nothing stops for you.

5. in the real world no matter how fake it is you have to know what to do at what time what is expected of you what you are supposed to do and who not to offend and all those politics stuff. oh well. thats where all that hypocritical shit comes in.

6. i don't understand how pple think that they can replace someone's position in someone else's heart so easily. sth called irreplaceable you know. i know how it feels when you know you can never have someone but doesnt mean you can enter my heart just cos she walked out.

7. i cant take it when pple say i'll wait for you. so freaking sweet.

8. everyone is attention seeking to some extent. dont deny.

9. i hate myself like this.

10. sometimes you shouldn't try too hard. maybe if you just let go of it a bit, it will come back to you. mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de.

11. a lot of pple owe me birthday presents. i mean, its not the presents i care about, it's the fact that pple go oh i forgot to bring and then say the same thing everday for about a week then never rmbered again. i don't care if you dint get me a present, but theres no need to lie. since you're so not sincere anyway. not like im gonna chase pple for birthday presents. retarded.

12. so much for complaining about her, you are exactly like her. you seriously DONT KNOW how much you are like her. just look at that. oh my. both of you are just so i duno what, typical evs girls? or not. i just feel like shouting SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FREAKING GRADES.

13. some pple are just so damn full of themselves. and evs is just full of these kind of pple (of course, there are nice pple around too). if you wanna complain about your ohsogreat results, know who you should complain to. for goodness sake don't whine about how you got an A2 instead of that ohsolovely A1 to someone who cant even get a B just because you want more than just A2. like, you want L1R5 20 or what shit it IS YOUR PROBLEM.

14. talk about situational awareness. yes freedom of speech BUT STILL. please think before you speak.

15. some pple should just screw off and leave me alone. like certain pple in four six. i mean you just come up to me and comment on sth completely irrelevant and expect me to reply??? either that you or you come and talk abt how you're so gonna die cos you never study for sth. HELLO if you want to do well you jolly well go study hard for it but if you don't freaking give a damn about your results then go ahead don't study and DON'T COMPLAIN or act like YOU DON'T CARE when in fact you're so damn concerned about grades. I HATE CLOSET MUGGERS. in the end you still get good grades. all you wanna do is show pple that "without mugging", you still can do so well. you're just trying to show off. but you know what? IM NOT INTERESTED. and im quite sure no one is interested. well at least i know im not the only one. and what do you expect me to say when you go I DINT STUDY AT ALL IM SO GONNA FAIL! I BET YOU STUDIED A LOT RIGHT! HAIYA IM JUST GONNA DIEEEEEEE FOR THE PAPER LA. EXCUSE ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO MAN. say, oh don't worry im sure you'll do fine and give you one big fake assuring smile isit?????? NO WAY. if you haven't realized, i walk away. dude. when will you EVER realise that NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY?

16. winnie and i dislike the same pple in class. cool.

17. i hate closet muggers, i hate pple who are over-concerned about grades, i hate pple who complain about their grades when it is HIGHER THAN THE HIGHEST IN THE COHORT. and its an A1. (like what more do you want. i don't freaking care about your own expectations of yourself. don't tell me how lousy you did when im barely passing. GET IT?) i hate pple who act cute, i hate pple who go OMG IM SO CHIO, i hate pple who are pretty and think they're pretty and GO AROUND FLAUNTING IT. (i think its even more gross than pple who are not pretty but think they're pretty. YOUR FACE ISNT EVERYTHING HAVE YOU REALISED. YOU'RE NOT OHSOGREAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN MOST PEOPLE. wtf.) i hate pple who take other pple for granted. i hate pple who are way too serious and duno when to relax. and I hate pple who reply msgs with --? ---- --- -- --- -- -- ---- --? (haha, en knows who im talking about. but I don't hate her i guess i just don't like the TONE. bloody hell.) i hate pple who are FAKE. i hate pple who are so bloody superficial all they care is about LOOKS LOOKS LOOKS. yes the society now is a shallow one that only care about whats on the outside. but WE MAKE UP THIS SOCIETY. and pple complain others are shallow when they're not any better. am i contradicting myself i dont care.

18. stairway to heaven is a good show go watch it. mon and tue channel u 10-11pm. I LIKE THE STUPID PLOT. yes. and uh the girl's "brother" reminds me of -------. I THINK YALL SHOULD WATCH THE SHOW.

19. i have a lot to talk about with pple im not very shou with, pple like jaz. maybe even more than pple im supposedly close to. but bro oh bro my bro.

20. after watching fatimah's dance, i think she's a really great dancer. although ive realised it long time ago, ive never really said it here. the teachers' day dance couldnt really showcast her talent. AND I FREAKING MISS DANCING.

21. aces day's amazing race was crap. and es actally stands for all children exercise simultaneously. -.-" and i thought it was a joke shena's dad told her.

22. i feel damn loser im like BEGGING for a sleepover since last year. aiya may as well forget it.

23. taka was retarded the things we do. my my.

24. and everyone's stopping outside guess to stare at the picture with the topless blonde.

25. some things you can cheat anyone but yourself. dont deny.

26. YOU totally chose it yourself and now making it look like its our fault like you had no choice when in fact you're enjoying what you have so much and watching us and probably laughing at us inside but on the outside acting ohsoinnocent. oh freak.

27. AND YOU DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THAT GUILTY FACE DONT THINK I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. i just chose to give you a big fat smile to cover up.

28. aha i saw someone today and she looked totally like a yellow banana.

29. i really need to know what present to buy for lao pa.

30. i tell you this is random beyond random beyond random but im feeling random so there.

31. and i so regret i dint bring my camera to rhd and teachers' day. =(

32. tmr not going to study cos lao pa gonna buy his birthday presents. mp3 and hp. wow.

33. i miss my voda waterbottle but too bad no more of it cos i threw the entire big bottle filled with water at inscet which flew away and it dropped on the floor and piang there was a crack. -let us mo ai yi fen zhong-

34. i find it scary. two pple are suppposed to mean the same to you but you think abt it and realised you cannot live without one while its perfectly fine if you never see the other one ever again. i dont like this.

35. i freaking freaking freaking dont want next year but i hate this year too. dont want changes dont want my friends to all be sepreated. (oh wait. do i even have friends?) i dont know why but i have this feeling - will turn out like - who apparently became a super bitch. i used to think she was nice and cool cos i think pple who are pretty are cool but not anymore. now she became... like that. so wasted.

36. i feel like talking to weini but shes not online. nvm tuition tmr.

37. and she's gonna buy her car. i think she bought today so most prob she's gonna drive here tmr. and she still owe me a meal. breeks :)

38. i miss scott! almost got to see him today but fio dint want to wait for joyce to go carol's house. ay. and happy birthday jolynn!

i feel really random and weird.

hello holidays :)

yay done with eoys pracs! should be able to pass phy cos my tsia saw my value for g and he said not bad! :D yes, im grinning. smack me!

chem was horrific though, quite disasterous. but since its over im not gonna think abt it again until i get the paper back. which i think is after the whole of eoys during the review.

and yes! we're taking the thoery papers (everything) in hall together with the rest! haha thats what the eoys schedule paper said anw.

happy birthday to clement and belated to bangzheng! :) yall can play pool le next time better ask me along! no la i think bz prefer to go with his -ahem- hor?

im so dead tired. feel like sleeping but i havent mugged today. maybe only abit. did corrections for chem paper.

ss was er fun. cos of bro and ll. sighs, i wish im in 407. sometimes i really feel like i dont belong in 406 cos everyone's so competitive and hardworking. but me? slacker big time. at least in 407 i still can talk to bro if not ll or qin. even though i no longer have her.

what the hell is wrong with yq? pple want to learn thats why i ask mr foo ques right? you dont like pple interupt then dont come to school la! go for private tuition better right?! nobody to interupt your oh-so-important-to-you-only study sessions. pls la since you're with her now you should accept her friends and not so bu shuang us right? wtf. maybe in your eyes only vivian, qin and sw are her friends. -roll eyes-

who cares. since she doesnt want to be my friend then why should i care? after all im not her "group of gals". wahlao do you know it was damn hurting when you replied mi group of gals? then what am i? next door neighbour? fuck. i almost cried in class. dont tell me you're just insensitive. hahaha thats a nice joke.

dont make me ask rhetheorical questions. thank you very much.

hahaha holidays are here! but since im still left with 6 (7 if you count geog and ss seperately) papers to go, guess my holidays' gone.

sorry i mean byebye holidays =(